Blink and you miss him.
Last week the whole internet was losing its collective minds because Spongebob Squarepants was rumored to be playing “Sweet Victory” at the Super Bowl halftime show. What a breathe of fresh air, the world thought, as we haven’t wanted to admit that we’ve been sick of Maroon 5 since 2003.
As for Spongebob? He’s been around for twenty years, almost old enough to legally drink, but we could never tire of him. He’s performing “Sweet Victory” no less, America’s favorite power ballad of the twenty-first century.
Now if you were watching and blinking at the same time, you may have missed it. You may have thought you sat on the remote and changed the channel to “Steaming Garbage: The Musical” however that wasn’t the case. It’s estimated he was on screen for 11.2 milliseconds, giving a very quick introduction to Travis Scott. Too much of him, way too much of Maroon 5, and not enough Spongebob. We even needed more Squidward.
I wonder how much of Adam Levine’s performance was a wardrobe malfunction. If Janet Jackson were dead she would be rolling in her grave.
My proposal for Super Bowl LIV:
Thank you, this has been Mythical Traffic and Weather.